Thursday, July 2, 2015

The Second Year is Twice the Fun: A Letter to My Two Year Old

Happy birthday, Wesley Bear! It's hard to believe that two years ago you were this tiny little newborn with dark hair and clenched fists. 
Now, well, now you're a towheaded bundle of energy who occasionally clenches his fists, but that's typically followed by a tantrum over the batteries in your train choosing such an inopportune moment to die, or because they're clutching the linty lone fruit snack found shoved in the couch crack that you don't want me to take. 

 



You're currently in the "trains, cars, trucks, tractors, boats, big bus!" all things that transport goods and people, move, and have wheels that go round and round stage. Sometimes, if we pass a school, we'll drive through the bus parking lot just so you can make this patented, "I Saw a Bus Face!" 
Then you proceed to tell you us, "Look out the winnnnooow!!" and repeatedly yell the word bus until we've long left the lot. The same thing usually happens with tractors and trucks, but not with quite as much fervor. The only thing that excites you more than a bus is a train. When we took you to the transportation museum a few weeks ago, it was quite possibly the happiest day of your life because not only did you get to see many trains, you got to ride one. A couple of days later, you got to ride (and drive!) Rick and Cassandra's boat. 

We kept the transportation theme in mind when we moved you over to your big boy room from the nursery, too. Now you're in a regular bed instead of the crib. It's a good thing, too, because your extra-long body just didn't fit in it anymore. After throwing in the books you read before falling asleep, blue blankey, Mr. Puppy, and Dikkie Dik, this was the result:
See? Your crib was turning into a game of Tetris. You transitioned over to the new room and bed quite nicely though. You were in that bed in a weekend with only one bad night. 

Two things that haven't changed since you were a wee little lad are your love for books and your undying loyalty to your Boppy. We have already begun preparing the speech we'll have to give your future college roommates regarding Boppy expectations; there's no resting your head on Wesley's Boppy. Don't place it on the couch in an incorrect position. Heaven forbid you rest your feet on it. I'm sure the list will expand as you grow to understand more about property rights, personal space, and attachment, but let's draw the line at a Boppy tattoo just because it will then always be with you. I'm almost hesitant to post a couple pictures of a younger you with the Boppy, since after looking at older pictures together the other day, you jealously had to comment, "That's MY Boppy," in those with Baby Wesley. 

When it's time for bed, we don't say, "Let's go to bed, " or something similar. Papa and I always say, "Let's go pick out some books to read." You readily respond, "Get my books," and we find some books for you to peruse before falling asleep. Some nights you already have heavy eyelids, and you barely brush your thumb over the corner of a cardboard page before nodding off, but other nights Papa and I have to contain our laughter from the living room as you loudly make up words to accompany the pictures or sing your ABCs for Chicka Chicka Boom Boom or "The Wheels on the Bus" for one of your many truck books.

Sometimes when I look at you, all I see is your father. The build, the height, oh yeah, this circa 1985 face:
But the love for reading? When I find you quietly sitting in the corner with a book or pulling the books off the shelves in your room (or at the library--don't worry, LRB, I'm there to fix those), my heart steals a line from Dr. Seuss and grows three sizes because that's a reflection of me. As a lifelong reader, it's something I love, but as an English teacher, someone with a Masters degree in Library Science, a parent, it's something I think is invaluable. Your life will undeniably be better because books are in it. Don't forget that. When you're old enough to thank us, do it, but don't forget to thank school, too, because there are many times I see you choosing books over toys as I watch from the window when collecting you in the afternoon. Plus, it's helpful to remember that when I'm not letting you watch Thomas the Train, you spent the first 18 months of your life not able to watch television at all. You will survive. Grab a book. 



You have grown so much in the past year, but you've especially blossomed since March when you moved to the two year old class. Your vocabulary consists of more than just words; you create coherent sentences. Sometimes I groan inwardly (other times, outwardly) at the little smart remarks coming from you because if you're already making these contextually correct comments as a toddler, we're in for it at a later age. On the other hand, anyone who knows me, knows that I love a good pun, so I usually have to work really hard to contain my laughter. Please refrain from greeting the old lady doctor with, "Heeeeey, Baby," when she says hi next time we're at the pediatrician though. Okay? You count to ten in English and to six in Dutch; however, no matter what we say, you stubbornly insist counting to five in Spanish is uno, quatro, cinco. Some words you only know in Dutch, but sometimes when your father tries to teach you new words, you tell him the English word like you're teaching him something. 

No human is perfect. I don't have the expectations that you'll grow up without fault, and I don't assume that your father does either. We love you more than you can possibly ever imagine. Keep that in mind as your begin a year that has such a foreboding name as "The Terrible Twos." Enter age two with the eagerness to learn and the willingness to try that you've lived your life thus far. 

And do it with that beautiful smile on your face.  






Saturday, February 21, 2015

Moving


This is our last week in this apartment. As of Wednesday (hopefully, God willing everything goes okay in the next few days, and we'll close on time), we will be the owners of a lovely 3 bedroom/two bath 1617 sqft brick house--or, as Wes calls it, "our hou"--a mere mile away from our current location. In the meantime, I have packed pretty much everything I can stand to pack. I'm definitely one of those people who doesn't pack clothes if I can get away with it (you know, you just take the drawers out of the dresser and move the drawer, or pull the hangers off the closet rod and shovel armloads of hanger-poking shirts, pants, and dresses into the car). We have movers coming on Friday, but since they're paid by the hour, we're hoping they'll just move our heavy stuff, and we'll have most of the boxes out of the way on Wednesday afternoon and Thursday. 


The Boxstacle Course


The rest of this entry is a montage of life in the apartment. Goodbye, Reserve at Bradbury on New Hope Rd. 


We moved in September 1, 2012, after spending the first four and a half years of our marriage in Pikeville. Ha, yeah right. After I spent the first four and a half years of our marriage in Pikeville. Tobias was only there like the last two and a half. 


The counter was never this clean of clutter again.
 
 None of the rooms were ever as
clean as they were when we first moved in.

 


We went from the 32" Sony (now in the bedroom) on the left to the 55" Samsung below. Black Friday '12 was good to Tobias. Or Tobias was good to capitalism. Take your pick. 










We were pregnant here! Well, I was pregnant here. Tobias was just part of a "we" that meant he had to listen to me whine about my swollen feet for five months. He was a very gracious listener though. 

January 2013
March 2013
June 2013


We had a few Christmases here. The first one we were going to Holland for the holidays, so we weren't going to decorate at all. During the first week of December, I couldn't take it, so I bought a cheap tree from Wal*Mart to put up for fourteen days. I think we gave it away before leaving town. 

Well, it's not a Charlie Brown tree....
We went bigger the past two years, since Santa had to visit. Watching Wesley's expressions around the lights and ornaments was magical. Clearly, I knew it would be. That's why I made Tobias put the tree up the weekend before Thanksgiving, which is pretty much a crime of the calendar. Whatever. I chalked it off to working mom guilt and got away with it. 


Christmas 2014
Wesley's first Christmas











Of course this place will always be Wesley's first home. This is where his first room was.

Wesley's Team Safari Nursery 
Of course, it only looked like that until he could toddle around and get into drawers and toys. More often than not, I'm cleaning up messes like this:
The Wesmanian Devil's natural habitat


This is the place where Tobias built (and subsequently broke) his swing without reading the instructions. Jennifer exchanged it at Target, and Aunt Beth built it the second time. 

This is the place where Wesley slept in the bouncer all day. Admittedly, sometimes my favorite time of day during the first six weeks of his life was when I could put him in the bouncer and set it on the bathroom floor for ten whole minutes, just so I could take a shower. 

What do you see? Be careful how you answer--
it may determine you're a psychopath. 
When Wesley was three weeks old, I tried to take his hand and foot prints for the framed kit we received as a gift. It turned out like this. I still hung it on his wall, and it stayed there until I packed it up to move. His footprint looks okay, but his hand print looks like a Rorschach test.  
                                                                 

Stretch Armstrong
For the first ten months of his life, if you came to our house, you saw a heavy sheet on the couch. Wesley had awful reflux, and we have a suede couch. Mistake. FYI - baby wipes do help with this; don't wipe up the mess with a dry towel first. I mean, in case any of you needed to know that for future reference. I wish someone had told us. Now we're moving, and I really feel like we should buy a new couch. One that's sans baby barf stains.        



We can't forget the times that Wesley spent playing outside here either. He does love his "ousside" time. He's had tons of fun on the playground sliding down the big boy slide (and giving his mother a heart attack--especially when he learned to go down head first), running through the grass, and swimming in the pool. 

Ooooooooh
This is fun. Much better than
that swing I hate.

Catchin' some rays

Wheeee!
Pool Time

Wesley is excited about his "new hou." I've been driving him by there twice a week since our offer was accepted to prepare him for the move, and now he knows that's where we're going as soon as we turn onto the street. I'm glad that we're taking this step; it's time to move on with our lives. Besides, I'm in my thirties, it's time to quit renting, and I think home ownership is the last thing that makes me officially an adult. I've done everything else--get married, have a kid, have a career, have gray hairs you have to dye every six weeks. It's time to leave the apartment world behind. 



Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2014 - A Full Year of Mothering

(It's been a year since I posted. Maybe blogging will be my annual New Year's tradition.)

Technically, I was a mother for nearly six months in 2013. Let's be real though. Those initial months are about survival. You are struggling to keep the baby from rolling off the changing table after you have to change his clothes for the fourth time in one morning due to his reflux while keeping your eyes open because you haven't had but three hours of sleep. And, yes, you do have to be at work in forty minutes. 

Thank God those are really only the first few months. 

2014 was my first full year as a mother. The teaching, experiencing, showing, playing woman. Not just the "Oh, thank the Lord, I didn't drop him on his head" instinctual child bearer. It's been an experience in itself. And there's definitely a learning curve. Sort of like four years of college never truly prepare you for your own classroom (though helpful), nothing really prepares you for raising your own child except trial and error (although, everyone should have a job where they've spent nearly a decade watching how others raise their kids, and then even if you don't know what to do, you at least have a pretty definitive idea of what you shouldn't do).  It seems like there's plenty of error; sometimes we'll be in the middle of a game, an activity, or a chore, when I'll decide it's not working, and completely change things up in the middle of it. "Let's try it this way," has turned into a code phrase for "Um, Mommy has screwed this up; let's do it this way and hope you didn't notice what a moron I am for even thinking that would work." Oh well. I've got a few more years of being smarter than him. Fake it 'til you make it, right?

I don't know how to say the next thing without sounding harsh. I love my child dearly, and he's a very big, bright, beautiful, sunshine-y part in my life. But my entire world doesn't revolve around him. I feel that if it did, it would be a disservice to him. It is my job as his mother to raise him to be the best man he can possibly grow up to be. That might mean I go overboard with his education sometimes (he's going to be 18 months later this week, and the kid has workbooks instead of coloring books for his crayons), but I don't want him to feel like the world owes him something. Like he's entitled to everything because I have dropped everything in my life to make my world spin around him. I go to work every day. I take him to daycare (a good one that we love). I thoroughly enjoyed my job during the 2013-2014 school year; in fact, it was the best year of my career. That is part of me. I love my husband, and having a child did make us Mommy and Papa, but we're still husband and wife. There are seven billion people on this planet, and, despite what so many out there would like to believe, there is no Planet Me, and he probably needs to learn that from an early age. Maybe that makes me a bad parent. If it does, I can probably figure it out and pull the "Let's try it this way" before it gets too out of hand (but I don't think it will). 

We spend a lot of time doing learning-based play or reading here at the house. I think play time is important, and he has cars and trucks, and now that his imagination is blossoming, it's fun to watch him talk to himself and pretend. But most of his toys have some sort of learning objective. He has a lot of puzzles and music toys. He loves to sing and dance. We do a lot of reading at home; he has some books almost entirely memorized. Some people think my aversion to children's television is silly, but I just don't think it's necessary for him to watch it yet. I've lightened up and will let him watch some YouTube learning videos when he's sitting on the potty, or I'll sometimes let him watch the end of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (the "Hot Dog Song") because he likes to dance to it. But he's otherwise content to play or read, so why would I substitute those for tv?  Plus that means less stupid cartoons I have to watch, which is what I should really be concerned about anyway.

The first time W told me he loved me back after I said it to him, I thought my insides would melt into a clichéd puddle.The first few months after your child is born may be about survival, but the months after--when you're raising your kid and trying not to screw up and wondering if you're helping or harming him--can be just as scary. Physically, it was undoubtedly harder the first few months of W's life. But this mothering thing I started doing in 2014 "ain't no joke." I question decisions I make regularly because I, like almost all parents, just want to raise a good little person into a wonderful big person. 

When it gets hard, I've got that memory of "I wub oo" to let me know that he seems to think I'm doing an okay job so far.  



Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Technological Dilemma

I'm pathetic. I abandoned my blog last year when I gave up on Pinterest-ing my way through breakfasts and dinners, though I did read a fair amount since I last posted. I had not, however, finished a book since the end of June (but I finished two during Christmas vacation!!) because we had a baby! I also changed jobs; I left the library and found myself in an 8th grade English class. 

Why did I choose to revisit my blog? I go back to work tomorrow, so God knows I probably won't have time after that. I'm a new mother, and no parent is perfect. I'm not coming from a place on a pedestal, but rather as someone expressing a dilemma regarding technology and health. I know we live in the technology dominated twenty-first century. Computers and iPads weren't available when I was a kid, nor when my younger siblings were growing up. Raising a baby in this environment is challenging. 

It is easy to give in to technology. Like moths to a streetlight, the television's glow entrances children, and hey, you can probably clean your kitchen while occasionally throwing glances towards the living room where your child sits in awe. My kitchen? It's a mess. Seriously, you would never know I spent hours cleaning my house just last week. Keeping our bundle of joy distracted while my husband and I watch tv is an ongoing battle. 
Put him in the chair, he flips around until he can see it. Just today I was watching a YouTube video on the Nuremberg Trials, and yeah, that's a black-and-white film induced grin a peek elicited while he sat on the couch next to me (at least it was educational??).
And, I, too, have given my child the iPad to hold his attention for a few minutes. Or at least for a cute photo op. 
If I'm guilty, then why does it bother me? I spent two years obtaining a graduate degree in Library Science---believe me, I understand that the world is turning towards tablets and apps. But is it healthy? The American Academy of Pediatrics would say no. In fact, they advise no screen time until at least the age of two. Babies need people interaction, and too much media in kids has proven to lead to attention deficit disorder, academic difficulties, and even weight problems. Okay, so the "be a perfect parent" part of me (amazing how that drive can develop overnight) wants to pull him from all glowing objects--the tv, cell phones, tablets, computers (night lights??). But how can I prepare him to be competitive with his peers in the future who do have a lot of experience with such devices? I've heard parents talk about their kids spending hours on the tablets they got for Christmas. There are products such as the iPad potty training chair on the market. More and more studies are produced showing that kids are spending record amounts of time on electronic devices (and the results of those studies aren't necessarily positive). 

 Since the iPad photo op, we've limited the only time W has with it to Face Time with his overseas grandparents. It's a daily fight to keep him from watching tv (I suppose you could tell me to give up my vices of Young and the Restless and competition cooking shows, but let's not take drastic measures just yet). He finds our phones more interesting than his bottles sometimes. Though I feel I'm doing the right thing, I worry that he'll be behind others who are familiar with the devices that are taking over the globe. 

I really just want my kid to play the apps like "go outside" and "read a real book" and "use your imagination." Is that so bad?

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Little Pretzel Candies

Long time, no write, but we moved in my defense! 

Anywho, I made candy for the staff at work last weekend. It's a very easy recipe I got from my friend, Deb, a couple years ago and make on occasion. 

What you need:



Small pretzels (I use the square ones because they hold the chocolates better)
Small chocolates (Rolos and Kisses are probably the most popular choices)
Small candies or nuts (not pictured...I used candy corn and peanut butter M&Ms this time, but have used macadamias and pecans in the past)

The first step is the hardest. If you can get past the monotony of unwrapping, you're in the clear.


I made 200 of these suckers, so there was about 4 piles of trash like this.




Place your chocolates on top of your pretzels on a baking sheet. Bake at 300F for no longer than 3 minutes.




 After taking them out of the oven, squish your smaller piece of candy or nut on top of the chocolate to make sure it sticks to the pretzel. Voila, you're done! Easy peasy. And very tasty.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Hard Boiled in the Oven Eggs & Squash Casserole

So I saw this idea on Pinterest about how you can hard boil eggs in the oven at 325 for 25-30 minutes. Not that it's all that difficult to boil them in a pot of water...but I needed to take a shower, so this was more convenient. 

It worked. But the shells turned spotty!


You'd think the spots would indicate little burned marks, but there was only one burned place on this whole egg (and none on the one I ate this morning). So...I don't know why they're spotty. Chemists? Any ideas? Oh, and the burned spot would probably indicate that 27 minutes was too long in my oven.
 

The yolks turned out nice though. And they're spotless.


I also made squash casserole for the first time ever yesterday. I know, I know. How can I have grown up in eastern NC without ever making that? Well, kiss my grits, folks, I usually just saute squash. I used the recipe found here as a starter, but then changed things as I saw fit.

 I used the following ingredients:
3 squash
2 zucchini
2 eggs
2 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp vegetable oil
dash of rosemary
8 oz feta (I bought a block and crumbled it myself because it's cheaper that way)
5 oz sour cream
1/2 cup shredded parmesan
2 tbsp garlic powder
1 tsp black pepper


 Layer half of your squash on the bottom of the pan.


Beat your eggs.


Mix in all other ingredients.
 

Spread half of your mixture on top of the squash. Then layer the remaining squash and mixture.
I sprinkled more parmesan and pepper on top. Bake at 375f for 40-45 minutes.


 I did a spanking good job on this. Tobias got seconds on vegetables, so you know it was at least a step above edible.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Between the Lines

Between the Lines by Jodi Picoult and Samantha Van Leer

I read this book a few weeks ago, but am just getting around to writing about it (or maybe just putting forth the energy to write about it). Like I've said before, I'm a big Picoult fan. However...this one wasn't anything like her adult books, and I daresay YA isn't her forte. It'd be unfair of me to say it was a read that tweens and teens wouldn't enjoy, but as an adult, I thought it kind of dragged in some areas, and I wasn't really grabbed by the action in the plot. 

Delilah is a teen girl who doesn't particularly care for school, even though she loves to read. The book she's currently infatuated with, Between the Lines, is a fairy tale about a prince on a quest to rescue a princess. It's when the prince begins speaking to Delilah that the story introduces its conflict--how can Delilah rescue a prince from living a repetitive life within the pages of a book?

The number of times Delilah unsuccessfully tries to help the prince escape is what makes this book seem to drag. I thought she could have left out a time or two for the story's sake. It was becoming blatantly obvious that the task was hard. As in most modern fairy tales, there's a happy ending, and readers pretty much know what that ending will be.

Okay, so even though I didn't thoroughly enjoy this book, I can give kudos to the authors for writing a YA novel that is clean. There's no sex, no vulgar language, no inappropriate themes. Despite lacking the topics and language that run amok in today's YA lit, I can say that young girls will enjoy reading this book. It has a happy ending. It has the girl-meets-boy story that infatuates them. It even has color illustrations, which don't come around often in a novel of its length.

So even though I wouldn't recommend it for older readers, if you have a classroom, a library, or a teenage daughter of your own, I'd say it'd be worth it for them to read.

Target age range: 11-15 years