My Horizontal Life

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands by Chelsea Handler

This post will be a quickie (pardon the pun), as I think it's mortifying my husband that I chose to review this book haha.

It's not a new book (published in '05), but it was on the Kindle library lending list, so I thought, "What they hey?" and tried it out. I'm all for comedians/comediennes writing their own books because they're usually good for a couple laughs, if nothing else. Handler (of Chelsea Lately) documents her trysts with various men in a number of gross embarrassing lewd  entertaining situations --- none of which I'm sorry to have missed out on in my lifetime.

Given the nature of the contents, I'll let you read it if you want to know more about what happens in the book. Be forewarned that the Internet's NSFW (not safe for work) acronym should be blasted on the cover, as it's nsfw or for kids. Language, sex, drugs, alcohol...it's a party bound together in paperback. Horizontal Life is the epitome of a "beach read."

Target age range: Adults (definitely)

A Stolen Life

A Stolen Life by Jaycee Dugard

Before I start, let me just say that I have at three posts to write within the next few days. Technically, it could be six, but I'm choosing not to review Patterson's Private Games, Private: #1 Suspect, or Kill Alex Cross. For one, it's been a few weeks since I've read them; secondly, they were the usual killer thrillers that Patterson is notorious for in the literary world. However, they were all entertaining, and I give a nod towards Private Games if suspense novels are your thing. It's set in 2012 London during the Olympics, and that upcoming event adds more to the story. Sadly, as much as I relish Alex Cross novels, his glory days as the protagonist in books such as Along Came a Spider and Kiss the Girls have seemingly passed. Without characters like Gary Soneji and Kyle Craig, he's just not as strong of a hero figure.

Okay, now on to Dugard's memoir.

Every few months I decide to pick up a biography. I did two in a row this time (the next one will be in the following post), and I pretty much wish I hadn't read this one. D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-N-G.  I think spelling it out in all caps should sound off bells and whistles and throw up red flags. It's not that I didn't know who or what this book was going to be about when I checked it out from the library; I remember the whole Dugard disappearance in the early 90s, even though I was 6 or 7 when it happened. I definitely remember when she resurfaced a few years ago. 

But jeez, Dugard didn't pull any punches when she described what happened to her. I suppose that's the point of a memoir--to tell the truth. I just don't think I could (if it had happened to me) retell the rape scenes that occurred when I was eleven years old. Dugard reflects on each chapter personally; how she's stronger now and looking back it was so hard for her to deal with it. I don't disagree with the idea that it would have been hard, but I think that's all the more reason I wouldn't want to relive it. Maybe that's just me. It may be part of the healing process (hopefully one I'll never have to worry about) to write about it, but publicizing it just seems like an invasion of an already terrible private memory. Eh, maybe it's a way to show the world what a sick SOB lunatic Phillip Garrido really is.

The rape scenes lessen as Dugard ages; instead the story focuses more on her survival in the backyard with her two daughters. She teaches the girls how to read and write by setting up a school in the backyard. However, the girls know Jaycee as their "sister," as Phillip's wife, Nancy, is posing as their mother. Again, something else that is incredibly sad. You give birth to two girls. You raise them. You teach them all that you can, despite not having past a fifth grade education yourself. However, they don't even know you as their mother. A Stolen Life is such an apt title for this book. 

The book ends after Dugard finds herself confessing to who she really is when Garrido runs in with his parole officer eighteen years after the abduction. She is in therapy and has started her own reunification support and therapy foundation (JAYC) for those who have suffered from the loss of abducted family members or for those who are struggling with the reunification process. Sales from the book support the cause.

If you want to read this, go ahead. It's not an easy read, and (like I said) I wouldn't pick it up again. It was difficult to say the least, although it was quick to get through. I'll be a little more hesitant next time before checking out a book on someone who was a front page news sob story.


Target age range: Adults

Glory Be

Glory Be by Augusta Scattergood

It's been almost a month since I've posted, but I've been reading a lot of Patterson lately. I'm going to do a combined entry on those three books (if I blog on them at all) because they don't take much time to read/explore. I love them for quick, suspenseful reads though. Plus, Patterson is a huge proponent of childhood literacy, so I'm not knocking him.

Anywho, I read Glory Be after my old teaching friend, Lonnye Sue, suggested I buy it for the library. It's a great fit for my school, given its demographics. It's a touching take on the civil rights movement that's appropriate for elementary students. 

Glory is an eleven --almost twelve-- year old white girl growing up in Mississippi in 1964. Her father is a preacher and the black maid in her home has been the closest to a mother figure she has had since her mother's passing years ago. She also has an older sister, Jesslyn, who has been a friend to Glory until this summer. Jesslyn is too involved in pep squad and hair styles to play games with Glory now, which leaves Glory with her friend, Frankie, and the local swimming pool.

At least Glory planned on spending the summer at the pool with Frankie. However, some Freedom workers from up north have come to Mississippi to "stir up trouble." Glory befriends the daughter of one of the freedom workers, much to Frankie's disapproval. Frankie's family, like much of the town, embraces the fallacy of "separate but equal" in society. The town closes the pool under the pretense of repairing cracks rather than face the possibility of integrating its population.

Closing the pool is an abomination to Glory. After all, her twelfth birthday is on July 4th, and she's had swimming parties for as long as she can remember. Though her initial anger is directed towards the pool's closing, she redirects her attention towards the ignorance of the townspeople. Glory realizes that color isn't a reason to discriminate. She says it best when a snooty busybody huffs about opening the doors to everyone in the library (ha, though I may be partial to the quote):

Libraries are about books. Books have no color. And they don't care who reads them.

Glory Be would be a good classroom read, if you're looking for a class novel. It works great by yourself, too.

Target Age Range: upper elementary - middle school

The Marriage Plot

The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides

I know, I know. It's been weeks since I've updated. Where I can usually fly through a book in no time, this one was a deeper (hence longer) read than many of the books I've read lately. Therefore, I'll make up for quantity of February blog posts with quality.

I typically don't like the idea of using an author's own words against him. But there's a section on pages 345 and 346 of this very novel that addresses my sentiments of The Marriage Plot.

The experience...was like reading certain difficult books. It was like plowing through late James, or the pages about agrarian reform in Anna Karenina, until you suddenly got to a good part again, which kept on getting better and better until you were so enthralled that you were almost grateful for the previous dull stretch because it increased your eventual pleasure.

I don't think Eugenides would really appreciate me saying that pieces of the book rivaled Tolstoy's discussion of land reform (at least I wouldn't). Parts of the book were slow, but then others were so engaging that, despite the heavy vocabulary, you kept going.
.
 You probably think that was a nice way of saying I hated the book. I didn't! I just want to make readers aware that it isn't a "beach read," if you know what I mean.

I hate Dickens for the way he describes characters. He is far too descriptive for my tastes. However, I adore descriptions of times and places, and Marriage Plot did not disappoint in this aspect. Readers find themselves in a number of places: Rhode Island, Oregon, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Paris, Monaco, Athens, Calcutta. Eugenides describes each location adequately, depending on its relationship to the story.
It's a fictitious novel based in the 1980s that did not discuss AIDS or snorting coke, but instead touched on literary and social styles of the decade. The protagonist, Madeleine, is a recent graduate of Brown university with a degree in English lit. Though she's a self-proclaimed "Victorianist," specializing in Austen, she finds her final semester attending postmodern theory classes. Here, Madeleine meets a variety of characters enchanted by the social, music, and literary reforms of the early 80s. The time also plays an important part in her own literary studies, as she claims the Victorian theme of a marriage plot no longer exists in contemporary literature.

The plot contains a love triangle; Mitchell is in love with Madeleine, although that love in unrequited, as she loves Leonard. A religious studies major, Mitchell is on an intercontinental spiritual journey after graduating from Brown. The point of view shifts throughout the book from Madeleine's to Leonard's to Mitchell's, wherever one may be at any particular point during the year-long time span. Although Mitchell was not my favorite character, his periods abroad were typically my favorite setting descriptions, particularly while he was volunteering for Mother Teresa and the Kalighat in India. 

If you have never read Eugenides's 2002 Pulitzer winner, Middlesex, I highly recommend it (more so than this one, to be honest). One of the most intriguing parts of the book was the author's ability to develop a character from childhood to adulthood while allowing the reader to always know what she (later he) was thinking. Cal was born a hermaphrodite, an internal struggle that most of the human population will never understand. However, Eugenides's writing enabled readers to feel empathy towards the character. 

I'm not digressing, I'm alluding to another story to show a similarity.

In Middlesex, readers followed the internal struggle of someone born with a different physical trait; in The Marriage Plot, the trait is mental. Leonard, Madeleine's boyfriend, has manic-depressive disorder. The author vividly describes Leonard's ups and downs during the year he is with Madeleine, including time he is hospitalized. It shows the trouble he has with everyday tasks, like going to work, versus the highs he has, including wearing a cape and gambling at the Monte Carlo casino. Madeleine's conflicting emotions and feelings towards Leonard are also depicted; she loves him, but does she want to deal with the stress of his disease?

The abrupt ending did bother me somewhat. After text that strolled along for 400 pages, to say the final six were rushed would be an understatement. Maybe that was the point though---the traditional marriage plot doesn't exist in contemporary literature?

Despite taking a while to read, I enjoyed Eugenides's third novel, and would recommend it to other avid readers. However, if you have to choose one of his books, it's this reader/blogger/librarian's opinion that Middlesex is better worth your time. 

Target age range: Adult

I'm still alive!

I'm not neglecting the blog, but it's taking me a while to get through my current read. I promise I'll update soon.

The Baby-Sitters Club (20 years later)

The Baby-Sitters Club (graphic novels) adapted by Raina Telgemeier

When I was growing up, I adored The Baby-Sitters Club series. I spent birthday money on the books, I checked them out from the library, I borrowed them from whoever I could. I even paid the $5 advertised in the back of the book to be a fan club member. I still have a box full of paperbacks in my office here at home. Let me say it again, "I adored the BSC."

I've spent the past five years watching middle schoolers read about drugs, sex, alcoholism, abuse, and other topics that are (in my opinion) inappropriate for preteens. What happened to reading that could be fun and relevant without having an explicit sex scene on page 86? (In case you can't tell, I bought a book specifically for my classroom and THANK GOD I read it prior to putting it in my class.) I want kids to understand that reading can be entertaining without being lewd or crass.

Imagine my delight when I placed an order back in October and saw that the first four BSC novels are now available in a graphic novel form. They tell the same stories, albeit abridged, but use a medium that pique the interests of today's kids. However, a group of fourth graders came in the library today and checked out the actual novels since they had read the newer versions. 

I know that these books aren't ever going to end up in the "Classics" section of a bookstore, but they're clean fun for kids. According to Wikipedia, 17 million copies were sold between 1986 and 2000, which goes to show that kids in the 80s, 90s, and the 00s (and now the 10s?) like them.
Keep reading, kids. 

Target Age Range: upper elementary, early middle school (and ladies in their 20s reliving their childhoods)

Substitute Creacher...or as I would call it: Mrs. Rühl's Life in Verse

Substitute Creacher by Chris Gall

I received a shipment of new books at work this week, and was making AR tests for a few when I came across this read. It's cute in a familiar way--bad kid turns into a monster to right his wrongs. Mr. Creacher subs for a class of unruly students, and he warns them of terrible outcomes to students he previously taught.

I liked the story, particularly the art work, but what made me write about it today is a poem about one of Mr. Creacher's former students, Sara. Now if you've worked or lived with me in the past ( . . . or present), it might be correct to say that I'm a cluttered person. As a teacher, I used to have issues with keeping my desk neat. Said issues may or may not have been severe enough that students would warn me about keeping it clean. "Mrs. Rühl, you're desk is getting too messy again. You're going to get in trouble again!" Fortunately, as a librarian, I have multiple desks and tables in the library and in my office, so there isn't a mountain of clutter piled high. 

Anyway, this part of the book spoke to me in volumes. And I chuckled outwardly after reading it.

Have you heard about Sara?
She crammed all her stuff
inside of her desk--
but enough was enough!

Her desk was so full
that it started to shake.
It rattled and lurched
like a minor earthquake.

Kids ran for their lives
ant the teachers threw fits,
and then Sara's desk
blew itself into bits.

It's a fun book for Halloween, or if you have students who are driving you crazy. Of course, you can also use it if you have a student who needs to learn some organizational skills.

 Target age range: elementary grades