Things I've Learned as a Toddler's Mom

I'm on the verge of my tenth year of teaching, so you'd think I'd know plenty about little ones. This may still hold true for my knowledge of the adolescent mind, but toddlers? There are no logical, reasonable expectations. However, I have managed to learn a few things that make life a little more stable and manageable. 

#1 -- Magic Erasers really are magic. 
Unlike so many of advertising's persuasive vocabulary words (amazing, wonderful, awesome), the magic in Magic Eraser is trustworthy. Crayon on the wall? Muddy hand print next to the doorknob? Spaghetti sauce on your eggshell cabinet? Easy. Magic Eraser takes eliminates it. Invest in stock immediately.

#2 -- Choose your words wisely.
As adults, we may not consciously realize how many everyday words we know that little ones have not yet acquired. This can result in an uninvited temper tantrum. For instance, asking your son if he wants plain ice cream or ice cream with sprinkles can turn rather ugly because there's no plane in sight when that cup of ice cream is set before him. I've tried to explain that plain means ordinary, regular, without extra, but he's a two year old boy. Plain means plane. I still catch myself asking if he wants plain regular food. 

#3 -- There's no such thing as playing with one puzzle at a time.
There is, however, such a thing as sitting on the floor separating puzzle pieces and matching them to the coordinating wooden frame for long periods of time. 

#4 -- Letting him help with the wash saves you a lot of trouble.
Wesley has a Boppy addiction; it's not much better with Blue Blankey. When it came time to wash either of them, it used to be a fight. Once I figured out turning the washing machine into a basketball hoop and letting him throw his Boppy and blanket (and any other laundry at other times) into the machine, it became a friendly chore. He might think he's scoring points shooting those baskets, but who really won that game, little man?

#5 -- It's okay to laugh, just don't let him see you.
I'm sure many mothers have quick-witted children who say things in times of trouble that make you lose your resolve. This seems to happen most when both of us parents are present. The one doing the stern talking tries to keep a straight face, while the other dissolves into a fit of silent giggles behind the tot's back. Later, we relive it between us and both have a laugh; it keeps us sane. We just don't let him know. 

#6 -- As in Big Brother, expect the unexpected. 
There are times when I anxiously dread serving him a meal. He's going to ask me to cut the slice of pizza into smaller bites, but the second I do, I know he's going to throw a fit and try to piece them back together. When he's unsuccessful, he's going to tell me to "fix broken pizza." Ugh. But no one has ever said toddler logic is rational, and once you stop trying to make it be that way, you'll be happier. It's not necessarily easy for someone like me who wants a structured plan full of deadlines and guidelines, but it's just what I (and all other Toddler Moms) need to learn to do. This doesn't mean let him always have his way, but it does mean learn to bend your agenda. I have a friend who's catchphrase is, "It is what it is." That pretty much sums up your toddler's attitude and outlook in a sentence.

That said, you can pretty much nullify this whole list because who knows if it will be the same tomorrow? Except for the Magic Erasers. Go buy them now.